A Letter to Michael

Dear Michael Cera,

Why are you suddenly (and without my permission) being cast as all my favorite quasi-heroes?

[WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD]

My good friend Kyle was the first to point out this stunning fact to me (and to create that amazingly accurate descriptor of the roles you are playing). I am a huge fan of both the "Scott Pilgrim" comic book series by Bryan Lee O'Malley, as well as the adolescent masterpiece novel "Youth in Revolt: The Journals of Nick Twisp" by C.D. Payne. Both of these works speak to me in different ways. "Youth in Revolt" felt like a novel getting inside my head, a novel that grasped the very essence of what it was like to be a young, sad, nerdy and unbelievably horny teenage boy. And "Scott Pilgrim" has given me a taste of what life as a twenty-something, filled with all it's sorrows and maddening frustrations and tender, slightly adult moments can be like, while also taking into account my love of arcade-style violence. Both characters have an innate humor towards life that seems completely unsolicited from the environment and people around them.

I read "Youth in Revolt" when I was 16, and I am reading "Scott Pilgrim" now that I am 22. Nick Twisp and Scott Pilgrim are 14 and 23, respectively. They are not only heroes, but role models, and I consider their stories a little look into my own personal life if it was just a bit more fantastical (I, for instance, have never had the opportunity to try to fake my own death and hide out in the woods dressed in women's clothing to be near my one true love, but I don't think it's very far off from something I am capable of doing).

And now you, Michael Cera, are going to be playing both of these roles.

There is very little I can do (if I could) about your performances anymore, as both of these films are in post-production as we speak. However, Michael, I really just want to illuminate some of my own thoughts on the characters of Nick Twisp, Scott Pilgrim, and your acting career, if you don't mind me being a little personal with you. Call it a collection of musings… from an unknown film scholar hooligan… commenting on your work with no precedent… let's get started!

Nick Twisp, to me, is the perfect anti-model for young men. He is overly intelligent, keeps his heated hatred seething under a mask of wit and sarcasm, is incredibly obsessive over anything with a vagina and breasts, and has no concept of personal boundaries (his own or others'). And yet he is who we, as young males (or at least, all of my friends) wanted to be, because he gets away with murder (literally, kind of).

Now from your acting career, we have seen you play smart, confidently awkward, awkwardly confident and… well, that's about it. And don't get me wrong, because I'm not trying to bash you. You play that type very, very well. You have a natural knack for it, as anyone who has ever seen an episode of The Greatest Show Of All Time can attest to. But that's not enough to play Nick Twisp, who, like Calvin (of Calvin & Hobbes fame), has a brain that is 3 times older than his body. Nick isn't just awkward, he's wry, he is actually confident, because he actually believes the crazy shit he is doing is okay. Casting worried-yet-sweet-puppy-dog faces to the female lead will not sell Nick Twisp, not in all of his evil genius mastermind mentality.

Scott Pilgrim, on the other hand, I have hope for. Admittedly, Scott has a penchant for being a lot happier than I think you have ever portrayed yourself to be on screen.

But, just as many of us were surprised and delighted how you grew up from kissing-cousin scenes in Arrested Development to taking-the-hot-girl's-clothes-off scenes in Superbad, I actually have confidence that you will wow us again with your burgeoning adulthood, that somehow that first scene with you and Ramona in bed can come off just as sweetly and intimately and grown up as it did in the comic book.

This weblog gives me a lot of promise. Giant weapons, fight scenes, and pitch-perfect costume design.

I have a lot more faith in you moving forward than I do for you regressing. Playing a young adolescent with Dr. Evil's brain is a tough thing to do, because it requires your body to act young and lascivious while your head acts like a mad scientist. I don't think that the trailer does much to quell my concerns.

In conclusion, Michael, I think you are developing (slowly) into a very well-rounded actor, but heed this: you have to work at it. If you keep taking the roles that Hollywood wants to market you in, you will become a character-type, and when the youthful charm runs out, you won't have much to go on. No one wants to watch an absurdly awkward older male make a fool of himself. (Oh wait.)

Keep 'em coming, Michael, you have hope yet.

But if you ruin my quasi-heroes for me I'ma break yah kneecaps.



Bryan Lee O'Malley On The Set Could Be A Good Sign.

http://www.scottpilgrim.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Youth_in_Revolt

P.S. Is there any way you could tell me if you are actually signed on to the Arrested Development movie? "ShowBizBoyToyz.com" doesn't have any updates.