Worst Movies of 2009

I personally am not brave enough to see movies that seem like stinkers from miles away, but my colleagues willingly and sometimes unwillingly exposed themselves to big budget flops, over-indulgent epics and more.

Bring on the shitstorm!

Jackson Bishop:

Wolverine
Sure, we weren't expecting too much after the unholy shit storm that was X3, but god damn was this movie terrible. Amiga-level cg graphics, plot holes you could drive a truck through, and magic memory erasing bullets...'nuff said.

Year One
Total waste of potential; funny actors, funny director, funny writers...NOT FUNNY. Not even the cameos were funny. When Paul Rudd and David Cross as Abel and Cain aren't funny, you know something is tragically wrong.

Catie Moyer:

Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience.
Or how about Couple's Retreat?
Ninja Assassin? Because, c'mon, that's redundant, right? Ninjas are, by definition, assassins.

Seriously though, I had the unpleasant experience of seeing The Ugly Truth in theatres. Turns out Gerard Butler can do wrong...and here's the proof.

Bryan Schmidt:

1. Knowing
i didnt even see it. "oh, oh look at me, oh, im nicholas cage, hey i can see the fyoooocher! ooh, hey, oh! oh look out, dere's a bawm! oh no, look out behind yoo dere's a airplane dats gonna crash! oh my gah, im gonna die some day!" what an insignificant little piece of shit.

2. Wolverine
the filmmakers are actually extremely talented. extremely talented at taking a decent character and making him a completely insignificant little piece of shit. after this film, just hearing the words "marvel comics" makes my weener a little bit softer.

Joshua Fu:

THE LOVELY BONES (Dir. Peter Jackson) is the worst film of 2009. In effect, it's a perverse parody of a truly heinous act (child abuse and murder), played out as either an uninspired thriller featuring a mustachio'd kid killer Tucci (equipped with unexplained hyper-honed hearing) or a halfhearted acid trip in the "In-Between." There's no true protagonist, and the laziest deus ex machina I've seen on the big screen in quite some time. Tucci and Weisz make it almost watchable, but for most of the film, I was resisting the urge to fall asleep, throw up in my popcorn bucket, or some combination of the two.

Evan Koehne:

WATCHMEN
because it was a shitty movie pretending to be a masterpiece, artlessly mish-mashing comic books, revisionist history, un-subtle social commentary and key points from philosophy textbooks, and

TRANSFORMERS 2: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN
because it was loud and long and obnoxious, and I couldn't even sleep through it like I wanted to.

Steven Ray Morris:

Avatar
Sorry everyone, I have to continue my loathing of this awful awful movie. Sure it’s pretty but when you want to date someone do you only care about looks? What if your date is secretly an immature suburban boy whose imagination extends only to new paint jobs and extra limbs? BORING!

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What other stinkers did we miss?