The answer: because Linda Woolverton cannot write Lewis Carroll's characters, or think of any new dialogue.
In the aftermath of watching the new Alice in Wonderland, and the purpose-driven characters with morals and desires (yeah, this is NOT Carroll's Wonderland), we made a list for Mr. Burton.
(2010) Tim Burton's 6 Impossible Things Before Breakfast:
(1) Do not cast Johnny Depp in the film.
(2) Do not cast Helena Bonham Carter in the film.
(3) Do not use Danny Elfman to score the film.*
(4) Get out of Disney's armpit.
(5) Stop being cute-quirky, like a rubber duckie that's pink instead of yellow. Ducks are yellow, stop trying to be pink!
(6) Stop making adaptations.
I miss the days of Ed Wood, Mars Attacks, and Beetlejuice. There was something more...pure about them.
That's all for now.
I'm looking forward to Frankenweenie. It may be a remake, but it's HIS remake.
*Please note I have profound love and respect for the talents of Depp, Carter, and Elfman. I just want to see Burton try to work without them for a change.
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I couldn't believe this movie, and the more I watched it I kept feeling really disgusted at myself for spending $12 on a ticket for it. Tim Burton, don't make me feel bad about myself! I'm a good person...
ReplyDelete$13.50....
ReplyDeleteRegal was kind to me though, because I got a free movie ticket as my "reward card bonus." It's like they knew I would be disappointed.