Why Is a Raven Like a Writing Desk?

The answer: because Linda Woolverton cannot write Lewis Carroll's characters, or think of any new dialogue.

In the aftermath of watching the new Alice in Wonderland, and the purpose-driven characters with morals and desires (yeah, this is NOT Carroll's Wonderland), we made a list for Mr. Burton.

(2010) Tim Burton's 6 Impossible Things Before Breakfast:
(1) Do not cast Johnny Depp in the film.
(2) Do not cast Helena Bonham Carter in the film.
(3) Do not use Danny Elfman to score the film.*
(4) Get out of Disney's armpit.
(5) Stop being cute-quirky, like a rubber duckie that's pink instead of yellow. Ducks are yellow, stop trying to be pink!
(6) Stop making adaptations.

I miss the days of Ed Wood, Mars Attacks, and Beetlejuice. There was something more...pure about them.
That's all for now.
I'm looking forward to Frankenweenie. It may be a remake, but it's HIS remake.

*Please note I have profound love and respect for the talents of Depp, Carter, and Elfman. I just want to see Burton try to work without them for a change.